Monday, 8 December 2014

51

all feels kind of weird. my life is turning not as planned but, yep, some old wishes are manifesting now: chef school, job in a kitchen. and though i'm postponing my return to the gym till early jan, i'm on track. well, i have to: i put on weight these months since august when i stop working at the bakery, jennifer decided a local guy in hand was a better choice, and all the emotional rollercoaster of "meeting" nicole, then losing her. lost in translation

4 years ago i met mili after many years, almost 20. it was magical. we are not exactly on the same political wavelength but meeting her was amazing. the 17 year old girl (i was 21 back then when we first met) was still very present in the 40 something woman i met in madrid. i left it all to stay with her in stockholm. and i returned to england just to renew my passport and sort out papers to move back to live there. being together but with enough room to breathe. she would remain living where she is. we would be meeting a lot, but not living together. which would have been, somehow, a good idea. i've never been such a passionate lover to anyone. and there are moments when i'm afraid if she calls me i'll leave it all again. i hope she won't. but then, back in newcastle, i came back to my country of adoption i thought i wasn't coming back. the time in spain and sweden changed me a lot. and being somehow forced to stay here -mostly because i was running on empty when, a couple of months after i left stockholm mili started dating some guy from the british embassy overthere and broke up with me- i had a couple of years not feeling at home at al. yet i met fab people. the indian postgrad students i shared houses with. mohamed at the homeless hostel. a bunch of spaniard migrant workers. rosinha. giadda. then anne-marie and her fiancé, anna, richard, dave, vanessa... and though i was thinking of moving to a quasi-rural life in a small town in north east portugal, and sometimes i still do, i'm kind of enjoying my new life here. and then i have new friends like roxana -who came with iulia, whom i met in spain back in 2008

and here's today. almost a week into my new job. a very cold NCL afternoon. listening some old beatles songs. smoking my last ciggies but can't be arsed to get outside for more. a cup of coffee. translating a friend's poem

and it's almost chanukah, almost xmas










welcome to havana upon tyne 3.0, let's fly together

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